i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize