"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
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