remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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