If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
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