You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
