I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Randomize
