he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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