Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
