The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
