All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
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