you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
