i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Randomize
