Taylor Swift is so right about you.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Randomize
