Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
