Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
there is glitter all over my balls
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