yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
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