it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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