Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Randomize
