Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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