Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
she looked like the before picture.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
