Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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