He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
