so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
