where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
