My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
