I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Randomize
