so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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