Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
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