they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize