can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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