Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
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