wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
she peed on how many people?
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize
