with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
