he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
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