took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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