I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
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