I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
