he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
