We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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