Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
All the doctor said was why
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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