I faked an abortion last night.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
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