I'm gonna have a badass scar
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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