I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize
