: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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