she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
