I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Success! We fucked roommates!
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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