i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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