We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Randomize
