Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
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