I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
