Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
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