Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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