How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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