I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
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