we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
