I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
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