very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
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