oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
